Laughing with Lexophiles

CONTRIBUTED TO SBINSIDER BY A SUBSCRIBER| December, 17th, 2023

Although not in the dictionary, it is reported that ‘Lexophile’ describes a person who loves sentences such as, “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” and, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”

• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

• This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

• I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

•  When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

• I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

• A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

• A will is a dead giveaway.

• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

• Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

• A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

• He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

• When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

• Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble

• When chemists die, they barium.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down

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  Car sales in Pima County in November, 1923 with Ford #1