Sonoran Sue: It’s a Dog’s World
Dear Sonoran Sue,
I am new to the Saddlebrooke community and a keen observer of human behavior. I love to walk early in the mornings, and I’ve become aware of a certain dog-walker’s social circle. It is very tight.
They refer to their dogs as their children, exchange detailed accounts of their pets’ digestive issues, and actually apologize to each other for antisocial behavior such as lunging at fellow canines—or using a human leg for… let’s just say “their personal pleasure.”
I am impressed by the dog “parents” sensitivity to other dogs and humans—sensitivity I must confess, my peers and I never displayed when our human children engaged in such antics. Bottom line: I’d like to be included in this group, but my partner and I are just not ready for a dog. Any suggestions?
— Outside the Circle
Dear Outside the Circle,
Oh yes, honey, I know well what you speak. Even without their dogs, you can spot them anywhere: They carry dog leashes looped around belt buckles, and carry enough poop bags to start a recycling center.
If you’re stubbornly dogless but still want into the circle, you’ll need creativity—and a high tolerance for embarrassment. Consider buying a Chihuahua-shaped handbag. Try carrying artisanal treats in a monogrammed pouch and passing them out like canapés at “ yappy hour.” A stuffed toy poodle at the end of a retractable leash will also do—just remember to stop and pretend to “scoop” for authenticity. And by all means, be aware that when you retract the leash your toy dog may be launched into outer space. Too subtle? Borrow a Roomba, glue on floppy ears, and proudly introduce it as your rescue mix. Or scatter Milk-Bones on your walk and become the Pied Piper of Saddlebrooke. When all else fails, push an empty stroller and shush passersby: “She’s napping.” Good luck, and tread carefully!
— Sonoran Sue
Out there walking a stuffed Doddle at the new Fry’s.
Susan Kravitz is the creator of the Comedy Klatch performing troop in SaddleBrooke. Her crew will be performing several skits in Fall of 2025.
