Out here in the Sonoran Desert, we respect reality. We don’t hike at noon in August, we don’t argue with javelinas, and we don’t make New Year’s resolutions that tempt fate. Yet every January, perfectly sensible adults announce goals that have the life expectancy of a grocery-store poinsettia. Take I will [...]
Submitted by a Loyal Reader: December 28th, 2025 While walking around SaddleBrooke, I discovered an ancient-looking bottle in the bushes. I opened it and out came an enormous Genie, who said I will grant you one wish. I replied that I wished for peace in the Middle East. The [...]
Dear Sonoran Sue, I read this wild news article about a raccoon breaking into a liquor store in Virginia, getting drunk on the bottom-shelf scotch, smashing up the place, then passing out on the bathroom floor. Animal control found him snoring like he’d been on a bender with my [...]
Sonoran Sue Speaks Out I was out on the town this week, fighting traffic, when I realized we have officially entered the most confusing season of all: that magical, bewildering, fattening stretch known as Hallogiving, which starts in September, soon to be followed by its even more unhinged cousin, [...]
Sonoran Sue Speaks Out: Out and about in the ‘Brooke today. How silly of me to forget! It’s Halloween — that magical time when mature adults (and I use that term the way Fry’s uses “fresh”) transform into a mob of sugar-fueled toddlers in polyester costumes. Let’s get one [...]
October 18th, 2025 Dear Sonoran Sue, I had the fright of my life while shopping at the Fry’s on Oracle. A bear had wandered into the store! I was in fresh produce when I heard someone shout, “Bear in aisle seven!! I immediately armed myself with two unripe cantaloupes and assumed [...]
Dear Sonoran Sue, I am new to the Saddlebrooke community and a keen observer of human behavior. I love to walk early in the mornings, and I’ve become aware of a certain dog-walker’s social circle. It is very tight. They refer to their dogs as their children, exchange detailed [...]
(Because in SaddleBrooke, some legends are baked in the desert sun until they fossilize.) Dear Sonoran Sue, Years ago, we heard a Fry’s supermarket was going to be built right here on Oracle and SaddleBrooke Blvd. Land was cleared, we had a Porta-Potty sighting, and dreams were born. Then—nothing. [...]
Sonoran Sue: What’s up with the Monsoons?? Dear Sonoran Sue: “We’re rounding 3rd base into Labor Day That robust Monsoon season we were promised has been a total bust in Saddlebrooke. My skin is drier than my sister-in-law’s Thanksgiving turkey! I saw lots of Cumulonimbus, those fluffy thunderheads hovering over us, but they seemed to [...]
CONTRIBUTED BY ALFRED E. NEUMAN | August 16th, 2025 Trying to catch a train in the mid-19th century was no easy feat: At the time, more than 144 local time zones were spread across North America. Before the invention of railway travel and train schedules, these slight time discrepancies [...]
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